Today I read an article about one Monica Emmerson who had a little run in with security at Reagan Airport.  Traveling with her child, she was trying to get through screening with her toddler’s sippy cup filled with water.  TSA officers told her to either get rid of the cup or pour out the water.  The security film showed her steadily walking toward a security check point while TSA officers were trying to stop her.  They certainly didn’t appear to be very forceful.  Finally, she stopped, removed the top from the cup and poured the water on the floor.  In an interview she said was going to drink it but was nervous and spilled the water.  It sure looked like she deliberately poured it out to me.

    It was ironic that she stated the TSA officer’s threat to arrest her was a gross abuse of police power because Emmerson, a former Secret Service agent, flashed her credentials and stated she was exempt from what she allegedly called a “stupid policy”.

    Now I ask you, isn’t this one of the reasons why we have stupid policies, because people think they are exempt from the rules?  Of course we really have the rules to thwart terrorism and this rule is to protect us from morons building a bomb while on the plane.  I really don’t think her drinking the water was the solution either.  Who’s to say she wouldn’t just drink the liquid, get on the plane, vomit and proceed with bomb building?  I mean when you’re going to blow up the plane and kill yourself and everybody on board, vomit isn’t that much of an obstacle.

    I hate all the rules just like everybody else, but even with them people try to bring everything in the world on board, skies, cases of beer, suitcases five times the size of the overhead compartment, etc.  I’ve thought about this for a long time and I think I have the solution to it.  An airline with only one rule!  Are you ready for this?  ALL NUDE AIRLINES!!  This can work.

    Flyers must be as naked as a jay bird in order to board the plane.  There would be some discrimination because obese people would be required to go through a metal detector just to be sure they weren’t hiding anything under a fold of fat.  No carry-on stuff, purses, cell phones, computers, wristwatches, shoes, or any type of clothing or jewelry whatsoever.  Probably about 90% of the folks flying wouldn’t be the type of people you would really want to see naked, so it would improve your self-esteem.  Considering most sex offenders are male, the perverts would have a tendency to “flag” themselves.  I guessing that the most a terrorist could sneak on board would be about one stick of dynamite.  Any more than that and he’ll hold up the line walking funny.  And the fuse would probably get wet.

    The seats would have paper on them like the doctor’s examination table.  First class would get nice paper gowns to wear once on board.  Of course the pilots have to be naked, as well.  We wouldn’t really see them much considering they spend most of their time in the cockpit...a place all real men steer clear of.  If the flight attendants were young and attractive, people would pay attention to the pre-flight safety instructions.  I’ll bet they’d even be asked to repeat it a couple of times.