My wife doesn’t care for fishing.  I’ve taken her several times and she loses interest in a matter of minutes.  It doesn’t matter if the fish are biting or not.  The last time I took her with me, we went to a local reservoir one afternoon during the middle of the week.  Being unbelievably hot and midweek, the lake appeared abandoned.  As a matter of fact, I think we were the only vehicle on the ramp that day.

    We launched the boat and I had my wife hold the boat while I parked the truck and trailer.  I went back down to the boat, helped my wife in, then pushed off and climbed over into the boat.  We rode around a little bit trying to collect a cool breeze.  Of course she doesn’t like to go fast and complained if I got over 30 mph.  It didn’t take long till riding around got old and I wanted to fish some, so I went into a cove and started fishing around some stumps and bushes along the shoreline.

    We were completely lathered up with sunscreen. After she made it a point that I had nothing exposed that might burn, she went to the back of the boat, sat on the deck, and kept to herself while I concentrated on my fishing.  After ten or fifteen minutes I turned around and looked to see why she was so quiet.  She was lying on the carpet in her shorts with her tee shirt wadded up over her face, TOPLESS!

    “MY GOD, WOMAN!  Put your clothes on!  This is a public lake!”  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I was mortified.

    “There’s nobody here.  It’s not going to hurt anything.”  She never took the tee shirt away from her face.  I told her everything I could think of to get her clothed again.  It’s not that I’m a prude by any stretch of the imagination.  Honestly, I would never shy away from public nudity as long as it was some young lady that I didn’t know.  Funny how that works, huh?  Sunbathing women, generally speaking, are only a diversion when the fish aren’t biting.

    Anyway, I tried for another twenty minutes or so to get her clothes back on her, but she just kept her face covered, ignoring me.  Then, as I slowly moved along the edge of the cove I had an idea.  I kept quite for a while and then, in a loud, friendly voice I said...

    “HOW ARE Y’ALL DOING!”

    She yanked that tee shirt off her face, rolled up in a ball and tumbled down into the bench seat.  I almost fell out of my chair laughing as her head popped up, looking around for the boatful of people she thought had seen her.  Needless to say she used a bit of unsavory language for a moment or two, but after regaining her composure she went right back to her topless sunbathing.  We didn’t see anyone else on the lake that day, we ended up blistered and I only caught one fish.  But it was worth it just to be able to tell this story.