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    A week or so had passed since Lord Cromwell bit Woody.  His finger had gotten infected, but he was getting better at changing the bandage and it seemed to be on the mend.  Interestingly enough, Woody laid no blame on Lord Cromwell or Rhonda, he just chalked it up as experience.  As a matter of fact, the Crabtree’s were going out of town next week and Rhonda took Woody up on his monkey-sitting offer.  No money was to change hands, just a fun-filled week with a primate.  They were going to Florida and her father had, in no uncertain terms, forbid Lord Cromwell from participating in the family vacation.  Woody was on cloud nine and had promised Rhonda he would take excellent care of Lord “Protect Us” Oliver Cromwell.  He didn’t ask Aunt Ida and Uncle Lonnie if it was okay or not, but I figured they wouldn’t mind, seeing how they had raised Woody and Lord Cromwell wasn’t much different, only shorter.
    I had gone to town a couple more times to see Ilene in the last week and we were getting along pretty good.  She even said she didn’t want to go to Florida because she would miss me.  And though I was jealous that she was getting to go on a real vacation, I told her not to be silly, I’d still be here when she got back.  It wasn’t like some girl was going to come along and steal me, considering Ilene was the first girl that had EVER come along, period.  She said that she thought I was nice even before me and Woody had our run in with the law, but I’m bettin’ that our notoriety had a whole bunch to do with it.  Anyway, we like each other now so what difference did it make?So the big day for Woody got here and I went with him to pick up Lord Cromwell.  I tried to explain to Woody that walking four or five miles in the burning hot sun, toting a monkey is probably not a good idea.  Woody assured me that if Lord Cromwell got overheated, we’d stop and sit under a shade tree until he got his wind back.
    When we got to the Crabtree’s, Mr. Crabtree was loading up the car and the girls were sitting on the front porch with Lord Cromwell in a little cage.  Beside them was a big ol’ bag of monkey feed, which I didn’t even know they made.
    “Lord Cromwell, are you ready for a week with Uncle Woody?” Woody cooed in baby talk, but he didn’t stick his finger in the cage.  Lord Cromwell was doing his little grin and grabbing at the bars of the cage.  If he knew “Uncle Woody” like I did, he’d make a break for it right now.
    “I hate to have him locked in this cage…he’s just not happy.  I know he feels like we’re mistreating him,” Rhonda was sniffling a little as she hugged the cage tightly.  “I’ve never been away from him over night since I got him.  Are you sure you can take care of him?”
    “Shoot! Me and Lord Cromwell are gonna do fine.  I’ve got lots of stuff planned for us to keep him busy all week.  Me and Coy, Jr. will take good care of yore baby, Rhonda.  You just go have a good time in Flar-der.”  Woody was reassuring to Rhonda but I didn’t like being included in the “take good care” part of what he said.
    “Coy, I’m gonna miss you.” Ilene piped up right in front of everybody.  Man was I embarrassed.  I didn’t know much, but I knew from watching my parents when a woman says something that mushy, you better give her something sappy, sweet right back or there’ll be trouble.
    I blurted out, “I’ll miss you, too, baby.”  I got that “baby” part from hearing my Daddy use it, but it sure felt bad coming out of my mouth.  Rhonda looked at me like I was crazy and Mr. Crabtree who had walked up just rolled his eyes.  Luckily, Woody was too absorbed in Lord Cromwell to hear what I said.
    “Girls, say your good-byes.  We’ve got to get on the road.” Mr. Crabtree went into the house and I heard him telling Mrs. Crabtree that I called Ilene “baby”.
    “Let’s get going Woody.  We don’t want to hold these folks up from getting started on their vacation.”  I reached down and picked up the bag of monkey food.  I didn’t know that helping Woody was going to involve physical labor, but I’d rather tote a twenty five pound bag of feed for four or five miles than have Lord Cromwell nipping at my fingers.

    When nobody was looking I kissed Ilene on the cheek before walking down the steps and out onto the sidewalk.  Woody fell right in behind me, steadily goo-gooing at Lord Cromwell who was screaming like he was being skinned alive.  I was thinking that he was beginning to know what kind of week he had ahead of him.
    We hadn’t gotten a quarter mile from the house when Woody decided he needed to take him out of the cage and let him “get some air”.  I warned him that it sounded like a bad idea, but nothing would do him but Lord Cromwell had to be out of that cage.  He opened the little door, stuck in his hand and grabbed Lord Cromwell by the collar.  To my surprise, he came out of the cage, let Woody put his leash on him and climbed up on his shoulder for the ride.  About that time the Crabtree’s drove by and tooted their horn at us.  We saw Rhonda in the back seat going nuts, jumping all around.  She rolled down the window and was yelling, “PUT HIM…” something or other about his back, we couldn’t make out the rest.  We just waved at them as they turned the corner and drove out of sight.  You know it was her first time to be away from him and all.

    By the time we got to Woody’s house, Lord Cromwell had poked a hole in the bag of feed, almost put Woody’s eye out, repeatedly dangled from the lease he had wrapped around Woody’s neck and torn the pocket off my shirt.  Uncle Lonnie and Aunt Ida were sitting in the living room watching the Farm Market report and Lucky, Aunt Ida’s Persian cat, was laid up in her lap, as usual, sleeping.
    “What kind of John Brown dog is THAT?” Uncle Lonnie asked as he took the cigarette from his lips.
    “It ain’t no dog…it’s a squirrel monkey.  He’s gonna stay with us for a week while his mama and ‘em are on vacation.” Woody said.
    “A MONKEY?  You ain’t keeping no dadgum monkey in THIS house, mister!” Aunt Ida laid down the law.
    “He’s gonna stay in my room and you won’t even know he’s here.”  Woody was holding Lord Cromwell like a baby, cradled in his arm.  “He sleeps in this cage.”   When he lifted it up to show them, Lord Cromwell started howling and fightin’ like a wildcat.  As luck would have it, the monkey jumped out of Woody’s arms, scurried down the back of the couch, did a wheelie on Aunt Ida’s head and disappeared into the hall.  Lucky, who was now standing in the middle of the floor, looked like he had exploded.  We ran down the hall to find the only open door was to Woody’s room and Lord Cromwell sitting on top of a wad of sheets and stuff piled in the middle of the bed.  He was very excited and I figured it was time to make my exit.  Aunt Ida was still dancing a jig in the living room hitting at her hair like a bat was in it and she was screaming bloody murder.
    Backing to the door I said, “Woody, here’s his food.  It looks like you are going to have a wonderful week!  I’ll catch you later.”
    “Awright.  Go on then.  I can take care of this fellow.  Thanks for totin’ his food.”